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I woke up on the wrong side of life again today, looking out the window and things still look grey, not knowing my direction or where to turn, looking for answers not to be found. You can�t kick me down I�m already on the ground, another day, a heavy cloud weighing me down.
I�m okay and alive, that�s how I�ve been, as if you�re wondering, I won�t lie it�s been rough and I wanted so many times to just give in. I�m in a fight with myself but I'm winning, at least that is the impression I was told to give. Actually, things have never been worse. I gave you so much and you still turned and walked away, without justification. Jerk.
Throw it all away and start over with new goals, new challenges, new places, and new faces.
What were my hopes, my dreams, everything I imagined? Something I fabricated to satisfy the unrealistic expectations of others. What do I really want? I wish I knew.
With or without you, I will proceed, I will heal, grow, and force myself to try and believe the excuse you gave me, as much as I rather not. Give me the chance. I�ll prove I�m right. Better yet, I�ll prove you wrong. I will pick the pieces of myself up off the floor and assemble them into something stronger, back into what was once something I had a grasp on. Something I thought I knew.
A long time ago there was confidence, self-esteem and the drive to accomplish anything no matter what was in the way. A long time ago there was a heart not so broken, with no so many pieces having been shattered. A long time ago many lessons hadn�t been learned and the strength to move on hadn�t yet been earned.
I don�t care what you think of me because you�re going to believe what you want anyway