FaceBook | YouTube | Contact | Pictures |

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Patw-21 is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his Eminem. So everyone please put your hands together for Patw-21!

Jerry: Okay, now Patw-21 you're here to talk about someone aren't you?

You: Yes.

Jerry: And what is this other persons name?

You: James Bond.

The crowd SQUEALS with delight.

Jerry: Okay, okay, well James Bond, is actually here tonight -

The crowd SQUEALS.

Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Patw-21, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Julie !

You: What the HELL!!!

Out of nowhere you pull out a Lava Lamp. Julie reaches for the chair. Out of the shadows Lynndsie appears.

Lynndsie: Wait everybody wait!

Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Julie .

Julie : Because I saw Patw-21 and Lynndsie making out at under a bus!

The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.

Lynndsie: That's a lie! I was home watching Adventures in a Tornado!!

Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Julie ?

Julie : Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Eminem who has recently become engaged to Lynndsie.

The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.

Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Eminem out here because Patw-21 had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... James Bond that's right!

Eminem: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with James Bond! You know I'm how I feel about James Bond!.

Lynndsie: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with James Bond!

Eminem: Because I knew that I could never have James Bond. But Patw-21 promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!

Lynndsie: What about respect for MY feelings!

Julie walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Eminem.

Julie : Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.

Again the crowd SQUEALS.

Lynndsie: Oh my God! Are you SICK!

Lynndsie runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.

Lynndsie: Patw-21 take me away from all of this!

You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...

The crowd does its bit.

Lynndsie: Married?

You nod.

Lynndsie: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!

You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to James Bond.

Eminem: (screaming) WHAT!!!

Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?

James Bond: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex THREE HUNDRED times if that's what you mean.

The crowd squeals.

Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Patw-21 is married to James Bond who Eminem has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Eminem has recently become engaged to Lynndsie who was recently spotted kissing Patw-21 in the under a bus. Now on top of this Julie has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Eminem.

James Bond: That's right Jerry.

Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.

Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.

Want to try?
Start by picking your sex:
FEMALE or MALE

enjoy.