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"There is no present or future-only the past,

happening over and over again - now."

-Eugene O'Neill

"There is no reason why good cannot triumph as

often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organisation.

If there are such things as angels, I hope they are organised

along the lines of the Mafia."

-Kurt Vonnegut

The Sirens of Titan

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers

exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly

disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and

inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already

happened"

-Douglas Adams

"The story so far:

In the beginning the Universe was created.

This has made a lot of people very angry and been

widely regarded as a bad move."

-Douglas Adams

The Restaurant at the End of The Universe

"Madness in great ones must not unwatch'd go."

-Hamlet

"If man proved that black was white, and white was black,

he'd probably get himself killed at the next zebra crossing"

-Douglas Adams

"Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat"

-L.Long

"If you pray hard enough water will run up hill. How hard? Why,

hard enough to make water run uphill, of course!"

-L.Long

"If it's sinful, it's more fun."

"Being right too soon is socially unacceptable."

-R.A.Heinlein

"It does not pay a prophet to be too specific."

-L.Sprague de Camp

"I'm gonna kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight"

-Bruce Cockburn

"The long unmeasured pulse of time moves everything.

There is nothing hidden that it can not bring to life,

Nothing once known that may not become unknown."

-Sophocles, Ajax.

"Think of the past as space expanding infinitely beyond

our vision...Then we choose a prospect. The higher it is, the wider

and hazier our view. Now we map what we see, marking some

features, ignoring others, altering an unknown territory...into a

finite collection of landmarks made meaningful through their

connections. History is not the past, but a map of the past drawn

from a particular view to be useful to the modern traveller."

-Henry Glassie

"The world was "discovered" a long time ago, well before

the Great Discoveries. . . . Europe's own achievement was to

discover the Atlantic and to master its difficult stretches, currents

and winds. This late success gained it the doors and routes of

the seven seas."

-Fernand Braudel

"Me, I want to explain myself so bad. I want to have myself

understood. And the music, it can do that. The music,

it's my whole story."

-Sidney Bechet

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear,

and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown."

-H.P.Lovecraft

"No matter were you are, there you are!"

Oliver's Law

"So there I was, sitting in the driver's seat of a

brand-new Lincoln Continental, underwater"

-Keith Moon

"I think music is way beyond rational thinking.

It doesn't necessarily have to make sense."

-Michael Stipe

"We're free to fly the crimson sky

The sun won't melt our wings tonight"

-U2

"Even Better Than The Real Thing"

"Every artist is a cannibal, every poet is a thief

All kill their inspiration and sing about their grief"

-U2

"The Fly"

"Another suburban morning

Grandmother screaming at the wall

We have to shout above the din of our Rice Crispies"

-The Police

"Synchronicity II"

"A man breaths deep into a saxophone

Through the walls we hear the city groan"

-U2

"Bullet the Blue Sky"

"The Empire lay in the imposed order; around

the throne the visionary zone of clear light

hummed with celestial action; there the forms

chamberlains, logothetes, nuncios, went and came...

These dwelled in Byzantium...

But also in the mind of the Empire another kind

of tale lay than that of the Grail.

-Charles Williams

"The Region of Summer Stars"

"I yield to him who knows more of these things than I do."

-Nennius

"There are certain queer times and occasions in this

strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes his whole

universe for a vast practical joke."

-Herman Melville

Moby Dick

"Then battle for freedom wherever you can,

And then, if not shot or hanged, you'll get knighted"

-Byron

"This animal is very mischievous; When it is attacked it

defends itself."

-Anonymous

"...that country where it is always turning late

in the year. That country where the hills are fog and the

rivers are mist; where the noons go quickly, dusks and

twilights linger, and the midnights stay. That country

composed in the main of cellars, sub-cellars, coal-bins,

closets, attics, and pantries faced away from the sun.

That country whose people are autumn people, thinking

only autumn thoughts. Whose people passing at night

on the empty walks sound like rain..."

-Ray Bradbury

The October Country

"The tiger was lying down at the far end, just

underneath the pebbly-white window. It was a large tiger,

with tawny venetian blinds and dark stripes laid across its

pelt. It looked up alertly at Charles, and its green eyes

narrowed. A kind of silky, purring grunt issued from its

mouth. Smooth muscles flexed, and the tiger got to its

feet. Its tail switched, making little chinking sounds

against the porcelain side of the last urinal."

-Stephen King

"Here Be Tygers"

"You don't fuck around with the infinite."

"Mean Streets"

"That crazy bastard may be the only sane one left."

-Joseph Heller

"Catch-22"

"There are things on heaven and earth,

Horatio, Man was not meant to know"

-Hamlet

"Is there anything in the universe more beautiful

and protective than the simple complexity of a

spider's web?"

-Charlotte

"Just because something doesn't do what

you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless."

-T. Edison

"It's useless to try to plan for the

unexpected. . .by definition!"

-A. Hitchcock

"Weird is a relative, not an absolute term."

-?

"Figure the last thing you would expect

the enemy would do, then count on him to do

precisely that!"

-Richelieu

"You mean this isn't the afterlife ?"

-Arthur Dent, Douglas Adams

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

"And now for something completely different."

-John Clease

"Take care of all your memories, for you

cannot relive them..."

-Bob Dylan

"America is the only nation in history which

miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration

without the usual interval of civilization."

-Georges Clemenceau

"You know that these two nations (England and France)

are at war for a few acres of snow, and that they are spending

for this fine war more than all Canada is worth."

-Voltaire

"My prayer to God is a very short one: "Oh Lord, make

my enemies ridiculous." God has granted it"

-Voltaire

"A reference to power is seldom neutral; there are

few words that produce such admiring or, in frequent case,

indignant response."

-John Kenneth Galbraith

"On the whole human beings want to be good,

but not too good and not quite all the time."

-George Orwell

"My people and I have come to a satisfactory understanding,

They say what they like and I do what I like."

-Fredrick the Great

"Revolutions are not trifles, but spring from trifles."

-Aristotle

"The major advances in civilizations are processes

which all but wreck the societies in which they occur."

-Alfred North Whitehead

"1848 was the turning point at which modern history

failed to turn."

-G.M. Trevelyen

"Someone must have been telling lies about

Joeseph K., for one fine morning without having done

anything wrong he was arrested."

-Franz Kafka

"Salvation belongs to the Lord;

Everything else is my affair."

-Fredrick William I

"Things are more like they are know than they

have ever been."

-Gerald Ford

"America I've given you all and now I'm nothing."

-Allen Ginsberge "America"

"That's part of America's greatness,

is discrimination. Yes, sir. Inequality, I think

breeds freedom and gives a man opportunity."

-Lester Maddox, ex-gov. of Georgia

"Nationalism: A snarl wrapped up in a flag."

-Irving Layton

"The time has come," the Walrus said,

"To talk of many things: of shoes-and ships-and

sealing wax-Of cabbages-and kings-And why the

sea is boiling hot-and whether pigs have wings."

-Lewis Carroll

"When Gregor Samsa woke up one morning

from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed

in his bed into a monstrous vermin."

-Franz Kafka

"Bite the wax tadpole."

- Coca-Cola as originally translated into Chinese

"Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave."

- ad slogan "Pepsi Comes Alive"

as originally translated into Chinese

"We pray for MacArthur's erection."

- sign erected by Japanese citizens in Tokyo,

when MacArthur was considering a run for President

"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."

- from a guest directory at a Japanese hotel, 1991

"It takes a virile man to make a chicken pregnant."

- Perdue chicken ad, as mistranslated abroad

"Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head

on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way

back to second base! This is a terrible thing

for the Padres!"

- Jerry Coleman, Padres radio announcer

God is dead: but considering the state Man is in,

there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which

his shadow will be shown.

-Neitzsche

It is convenient that there be gods, and, as it is

convenient, let us believe there are.

-Ovid

If God did not exist, it would be necessary

to invent him.

-Voltaire

Masses are always breeding grounds of

psychic epidemics.

-Carl Jung

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody.

Now I see that I should have been more specific.

- Jane Wagner

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals;

I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

- A. Whitney Brown

Experience is that marvellous thing that enables

you recognise a mistake when you make it again.

- F. P. Jones

Human beings, who are almost unique in

having the ability to learn from the experience

of others, are also remarkable for their apparent

disinclination to do so.

- Douglas Adams

"Life without you would be like a broken pencil."

"How's that?"

"Completely pointless."

- Blackadder, Series II

Life may have no meaning. Or even worse,

it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.

- Ashleigh Brilliant

My opinions may have changed, but not the

fact that I am right.

-- Ashleigh Brilliant

Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her.

-?

Television is called a medium. This is because it is neither

rare, nor well done.

-?

"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."

- Napoleon Bonaparte

"Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake."

- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower

"Don't be so humble - you are not that great."

- Golda Meir

"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost

be said to be living apart."

- e e cummings

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."

- Oscar Wilde

"Most people would sooner die than think;

in fact, they do so."

- Bertrand Russell